Lily Allen Award Show
Lily Allen opened up about her past addictions and struggles on The Recovery podcast.
Chelsea Guglielmino/Getty Imags
  • Singer Lily Allen, 35, opened up about her addictions on The Recovery podcast with DJ Fat Tony.
  • She revealed that performing as an opening act on Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz tour in 2014 negatively affected her mental health.
  • Allen described being addicted to Adderall, and said she considered taking heroin at one point.
  • She also said she began drinking at a young age and became “co-dependent.”
  • Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.

Lily Allen decided to get sober after she considered taking heroin while performing on Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz tour in 2014. 

While speaking with DJ Fat Tony on The Recovery podcast, Allen opened up about her journey to sobriety and the obstacles she overcame along the way. 

Allen, 35, recalled her time as an opening act on the Bangerz tour as particularly difficult, saying she didn’t “feel like a pop star at all.

“I felt really worthless, and drugs and alcohol made me feel the opposite,” the “Smile” singer said.

Allen said that about six months after the birth of her second child with her former husband, Sam Cooper, she was forced to go on tour when the family was strapped for cash. The couple married when Allen was 24 and went on to have two daughters: 9-year-old Ethel and 8-year-old Marnie. 

"We sort of ran out of money and I had to go out on the road again, but I was 14-stone [196 lbs] and just did not feel like a pop star at all," said Allen, who is currently married to actor David Harbour. 

"So, I started taking this drug called Adderall, which is like speed, to lose the weight. And then I got addicted to this drug because it made me invincible and I could work really long hours and be all the different people that I was required to be at the time," she added. 

Allen's addictions worsened while on the American leg of the Bangerz tour in 2014. 

"It was a very highly sexualized tour and I had just spent the last three years pushing babies out. It couldn't have been less what I felt like," Allen said.

"And also, I'd never ever supported someone. So, I was sort of like re-entering this phase of being a pop star again but not doing it on my terms anymore. I was supporting this girl who was much younger and more attractive than I felt and I just started out in all manner of ways," she added. 

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Lily Allen performs at the Bridgestone Arena on August 7, 2014 in Nashville, Tennessee.
Frederick Breedon IV/WireImage

According to Allen, this included cheating on Cooper and falling further into alcoholism. 

Allen said that she previously drank alcohol to "take the edge off" of drugs, but realized during this time that she "was getting up in the morning, going straight to the mini bar, and downing those little vodka bottles...without the drugs."

"I remember being in LA and thinking like, 'None of this acting out is working anymore. Maybe I should try heroin," said Allen.

She continued, "I'd been in a scene, you know, where I had seen what happens to people who use heroin and knew when that thought popped into my head it was time to - you know - confront my demons. And that was about five years ago. And I started recovery."

But Allen said she wasn't fully committed to recovery at the time, and fell back into drinking alcohol about six months after getting clean. 

"Almost instantly, I lost everything," Allen said. 

"I lost my marriage. I lost my house I worked for 10 years to buy. My career started sinking. I lost all my friends - I didn't have any of my friendships any more. I was so resentful and so angry all the time. Really felt like the world owed me stuff" she said, adding "that went on for another four years."

Allen revealed that her addiction began at a young age 

Allen, who Zoe Kravitz said gave her a nonconsensual kiss in 2014,  said her addiction began when she became "co-dependent" on alcohol while in school. 

"I started getting my value from attention of others and that is something that has played out until relatively recently really," said Allen.

"All I wanted was affirmation and praise and I didn't even really get it then. I got it from strangers, but I didn't really get it from the people I wanted it from," she added. 

Allen admitted that she "definitely buried my head in drugs and alcohol, but I was really sad."

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Lily Allen attended the BRIT Awards in 2014, the same she performed as an opening act for Miley Cyrus.
Matt Kent/Getty Images

Allen wants to break the cycle for her two daughters

In July 2020, Allen shared a bikini photo to her Instagram account to celebrate one year sober.

"So grateful for my health and happiness," she wrote in the caption. 

Allen told DJ Fat Tony that she's currently focused on her sobriety and building a healthy relationship with her daughters. 

"I'm in the process of breaking that cycle. I felt so guilty about neglecting my kids in those early years of their life and having to go off on tour and misbehave in the way that I was. I really have a great relationship with my kids now," Allen said.

"They're confident little girls. They're not going to turn into drug addicts like I did. They're on a good path," she added. 

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